My wife cooked me up a lovely meal

Pilchards in gravy and a wagon wheel

I ate it up as quick as I could

Cos I was really hungry

And it tasted just like paradise

After I’d finished my lovely meal

I said to the wife I’ll cut you a deal

I’ll do the washing up if you do the vacuuming

Cos earlier I dropped a biscuit by my chair

I washed the plates up and I

I cleaned the spoons

I stacked the saucepans and I

I hummed a tune

I poured the water out but it was too soon

Cos when I turned around and looked on top of the microwave

I saw a cup that hadn’t been washed up

But I had just enough washing up liquid residue on my sponge

That I didn’t have to pour out any more

Oh I had just enough washing up liquid residue on my sponge

That I didn’t have to pour out any more

Not any more

After I’d put all the things away

I said to myself let’s call it a day

I went into the lounge and I turned the tv on

And then I slowly drifted off to sleep

I dreamed of elephants and flying cars

I dreamed of Africans and Milkybars

I dreamed of Catherine Zeta-Jones in the bath

But when I turned around

And looked on top of Catherine’s head

I saw a cup that hadn’t been washed up

But I had just enough washing up liquid residue on my sponge

That I didn’t have to pour out any more

Oh I had just enough washing up liquid residue on my sponge

That I didn’t have to pour out any more

Not any more